October 15th, 2005
|psalm91||02:52 am - newbie|
Hi every one.. ive been kind of lurking and reading.
This looks like an okay group do here I go!
I'm intuitive and also empathic but when i get something bad I have a tendancy to ignore it.
I have for the most part - totally learned my lesson
but you know how you are when you get bad feelings and you don't want to listen to the truth.
Anybody have any decisions in which they may need help with their intution?
I tend to rely on my intution... or at least i do now.
Last time was the last time for me to know when to listen and when not to. I had just gotten a new job and i was with someone else that night. It started off strange anyway because they didn't know i was supposed to be there then it got stranger because as soon as my mentor walked in, i got a nasty feeling.
I shrugged it off thinkging she's having a bad night, or she's just a tom boy. (I am a bit of one myself. We dont exactly come off feminine. I'm only part but this one seemed full blood tom boy.)
Anyway i go in three days later for my cheek (I hadn't recieved a call to come in) the lady wouldn't look me in the eye and I, to make a long story short, got fired because I didn't do the food properly when my mentor hadn't even let me in the kitchen.
SHe basically stole my job from me.
There are countless other times i ignored it and got bit in the butt for it too.
so now... i am starting to rely on it more. Its good at saving your ass if you would just listen.
Current Mood: amused
The problem I'm having with following my intuition when it points to me being fucked over by others is that I never want to assume the worst in people. I want to believe they are supportive and that everyone can have their slice of the pie and that people are generally good and want to help each other.
However, that's biting me in the ass currently too and I am about to get really fucked over.
If I'd followed the intuition, I'd have been prepared for snakes.
But at a cost: my innoncence.
see what I mean?
My biggest struggle; up until the past few months was accepting this. I was in denial and disbelief for the longest time (being last couple of years) before then I hardly noticed- shrugged things off as odd feelings or coincidence.
I got sick and had a lot of time on my hands. Those "coincidental situations" where more obvious to me, to the point that they were to frequent to justify as being coincidental.
My intuition I usually get things tied to other people fairly easily. It's been awhile but I can’t seem to gauge things tied to my life.
Other people though it shows itself in various forms. I don't have a good handle on it I wish I could. I like helping people that's where I had used it in the past. Just took 'till now to see what was going on back then.
I still don't feel I deserve this knowledge or this gift. To have it scares me because I fear of misuse